I’m making music today, which is making words harder to come by.  I’m thinking about the strange ability a beautiful day has to produce guilt.  See, though they still come, “bad” days are hard to justify in the tropics.  Your emotions might be askew,  your contentment level low, but when your grief-grogged eyes creak open against a brilliant sky…it is hard to sustain belief in your melancholy.  I said “belief in it” for a problematic reason:

  • Not believing in something doesn’t necessarily render it non-existent…


  • Belief is all that ultimately ever sustains anything.

What I mean is this.  If you are sad, but don’t believe in it, this doesn’t mean the sadness isn’t real.  Or does it?  Because if you don’t invest energy in it (aka wallow in it) then that emotion doesn’t dictate who you are being.  It might be easier to explain it through diagram.

Picture1which means 


Which means it’s not the tropics, really, that make it hard to justify a “bad” day.  You could, after all, reclose your eyes against the sun, hide beneath a pillow even, and ride your mind’s sadness instead of the ocean’s waves.  There are days I so foolishly do!

Rather, it’s awareness that a “good” day is one in which you remember.  Remember that just as easily as pupils constrict to accommodate brightness, state of mind, if not pulled upon, will naturally drift toward the sun. 2014-05-06_10-05-23_134

2 thoughts on “Believing

  1. I resonated with this one, Celina. I spend yesterday afternoon/evening immersed in grief. Today I am out and about. I love the line about “surely as the pupils dilate to accommodate brightness… so well put! We DO have to work at being sad, don’t we?

    Keep writing. YOUR brightness shines through.



    • Thank you so much Silver. So sorry about your tough day, happy to hear about the better one that followed! I love the way you put that “we have to work at being sad.” So true. Your encouragement is much appreciated!

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